It was a sweet time~

But it was (apparently) time to say goodbye to In-Gender. It helped.. but it’s going to become pretty much a “pay” site. The Private Message function has been made unusable since I don’t have a Gold Membership, already and (at least) one of the Forum Leaders has indicated that several other forums that are currently accessible to all will become accessible to Gold members, only.

For some, this isn’t a big deal! For me, even–$12 per year isn’t a big deal–however simply on principle, I won’t. Information should be free–and any other information that’s not free, I will get from my Dr… and all that is (that they’ll be hiding), I can get thanks to good old Google πŸ˜‰ There’s also the fact that I’ve been quite unhappy about the state of the site. It’s been virtually impossible to use, the errors upon errors! The load times! They say it’s being fixed.. but it doesn’t actually appear to be. (ETA: I get that sites have expenses, but some sites make more than enough to support themselves/cover their overhead and then some. In my opinion, this is one of those sites. I would be far more inclined to make a donation toΒ  a site, but having to pay money for a site that doesn’t perform well?)

Ah, well. That’s Ok–I will miss the friends I’ve made there, truly!Β  It’s just time for me, personally, to move on.

I thank the forum leaders for all the work and time and effort they have put into the site. The forum leaders and the members–Gold and non Gold. The wealth of information you all have shared, the opinions, etc. etc.–it’s been awesome. Thanks πŸ™‚

Moving on!

I am SERIOUSLY feeling like this will be my last pregnancy.. and I’m not feeling all that sad about it. Yet. I just don’t know.. I have never liked pregnancy.. and this one is just painful! Part of me wants to have more (the part that wants 8 kids hahah) but part of me is saying–and has been saying, since week 10 of this pregnancy–that I am SO.DONE. I think the plan is for me to get an IUD for the next 4ish years. That way, we have plenty of time before we do anything permanent (The Big V for my husband and perhaps Essure for me–not “sold” on it, yet) BUT we’ll see! Plenty of time… heel, Chaos isn’t even born yet!

I’m also sort of making a “To Buy” list. It’s in the form of a registry–but since we’ve never even had a baby shower (heck, I can’t say we’ve even ever received a baby gift! haha), it’s definitely all “Things We Are Going To Purchase” rather than “Things We Want Other People To Purchase” πŸ˜€Β  It’s taking a little while to find the “right” things.. but it’s REALLY fun! I’m enjoying it πŸ™‚

Anyway–that’s it, for now! I hope you’re all well ♥

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It’s coming…

I am fairly certain that af is coming. Honestly, the left side of my uterus is just crampy and achey today. That’s fine, though–really!Β  I mean, I DO wish that it would hurry up! All this waiting is so frustrating 😦

Anyway, I have stopped all diets and supplements (I forgot to mention that 😑 sorry!) so we’re absolutely not doing any swaying or anything. We are 100% sticking to our IVF and PGD plans.

Af reallllly needs to get here, though. We want to schedule our new patient meetings ASAP! There’s not a whole lot of time between now and November!

Sorry for the billions of posts, lately! I’m just so excited!!!! (Also, totally confused by my body! Go figure)

Gosh, I’m so tired.

Honestly, it’s so ridiculous. I’m just so tired! The night before last, I only got 5 hours of sleep–but we all had a 2 hour nap, so it wasn’t so bad. Last night, I got like 12 hours of sleep! I woke up feeling.. well.. refreshed. Awake. But at the half-way point, I felt so tired and drained again (could be because I had a decent-sized meal, though–some soup, half a sandwich and a couple of chips). It’s ridiculous and frustrating 😦

Good news is I’m not peeing every five seconds, anymore πŸ™‚

But still, all tests are negative. Since af is due any day, now, I’m relatively positive it’s going to stay that way.Β  Even though I’m excited because that means IVF/PGD will be going ahead in November, as planned, I still wish.. well.. I still wish we could have done this on our own 😦 I feel like such a failure 😦 I’ve never, EVER had any problems getting pregnant, before–and now.. I just.. can’t 😦

Sigh.

Anyway, still waiting on a response regarding PGD. In all honesty, though, I think we’re probably going to just cycle here in California. Not missing work is a HUGE concern of mine and vacation would only cover one cycle and, if that one wasn’t successful, we’d kinda be screwed having to go to subsequent ones 😦

What to do, what to do…

Sweet

So I have potentially found a place for IVF that is so affordable, we wouldn’t have to take out a loan and sell our first born :p

CNY Fertility Center. Really, the rates are amazing, there’s a refund program, apparently they’re pretty good… the only thing is I don’t yet know if they offer PGD, if they offer PGD for gender determination and, if so, how much their PGD is.Β  I’ve emailed requesting more information! This is so exciting!

Really, even flying to NY ($300.00 for my husband and I, each, our two youngest I have no idea how much they would be–probably the same) so that’s $1,200.00–and hotel (they have affiliates! Can you believe it?) is quoted at $45 a night, so that’s about $450.00 (assuming it’s the same time frame that we were quoted for somewhere else I can’t remember). Meals probably the same (or close), so we’ll just assume that flight would be $1,200.00 and food and lodging would be about $1,200.00. That’s $2,400.00–and even including that–and for up to 4 cycles, no less!–that’s such a significant savings! Unless, of course, the first cycle isn’t successful. Then there’s the whole “missing work” thing 😦

Regardless, it just boils down to the whole PGD aspect of the whole thing.

Anyway, just wanted to drop a quick update πŸ™‚ Hope you are all well!

ETA: The rates taken from CNY Fertility Center‘s website:

$6,000*
β€’ Up to 2 IVF cycles.
β€’ $3,000 deposit at date of baseline.
β€’ 12 months interest free financing.
β€’ $250 monthly payment deducted from credit/debit card.
β€’ If a pregnancy is achieved prior to 2nd cycle, contract is completed.

$9,000*
β€’ Up to 4 IVF cycles.
β€’ $4,500 deposit at date of baseline.
β€’ 12 months interest free financing.
β€’ $375 monthly payment deducted from credit/debit card.
β€’ If a pregnancy is achieved prior to 4th cycle, contract is completed.

$13,500*
β€’ Up to 6 IVF cycles.
β€’ $6,750 deposit at date of baseline.
β€’ 12 months interest free financing.
β€’ $562.50 monthly payment deducted from credit/debit card.
β€’ If a pregnancy is achieved prior to 6th cycle, contract is completed.

*This program includes Anesthesia, ICSI, Assisted Hatching, Retrieval, Embryo Transfer, storage of frozen embryos and FET cycles for one year Patient is responsible for all labs, ultrasounds and medications. We will bill insurance for monitoring and accept what insurance pays minus the co-pays, co-insurances and deductibles. If patient has frozen embryos, they must be used prior to proceeding with the next fresh IVF cycle.

Ow

My uterus is killing me. As is my lower back. AND I AM SO TIRED!!!

Honestly, you would think that those were pregnancy symptoms, wouldn’t you? But no–all tests are still completely negative. And it’s like–hypothetically–10 dpo. Well, my hypothetical Ovulation d: According to calculators, I ovulated June 30th (according to one calculator) and the other says “some time between June 30th and July 5th”.

So lets hypothetically say that I ovulated on June 30th. We had unprotected, vaginal intercourse only 3 days in June. June 25th, 27th, 28th. Assuming I ovulated on the far spectrum–the 5th of July–we had unprotected, vaginal intercourse only the 6th.

So assuming I ovulated, those God-awful cramps I was feeling on the 3rd of July.. couldn’t have possibly been implantation cramps. That would have been too close to my “ovulation” date. And they absolutely felt too severe for Ovulation cramps–but let’s assume they were–if they were, we completely missed ovulation because the 6th was way too far from the 3rd.

My period was also ridiculously long. 6 days. Six! The 17th through the 22nd.

Yeah. I don’t know what’s up with my body. I wouldn’t mind being pregnant–especially if we were having a girl (har har)–but now that I know 100% we are going to go ahead with IVF/PGD in November if I’m not, well.. it’s hard to want to be, if you know what I mean. Especially since I am 100% positive it would be neither twins, nor a girl 😦 Both things we want.

So of course, I probably am. Well.. not really–all tests are still absolutely negative at 10dpo (I usually am able to test between 8 and 11dpo in the past)

Ah, well. It’s in God’s hands. We did the diet, the supplements. Hell, we even did the negative ions and the hormones, my pH was about 4.5 and my husbands was about 7,Β  and some old wives’ tales. Timing was probably off (especially since I have NO idea when/if I ovulated!) but as it stands, we did 6 of the 7 sway methods so maybe–if I am pregnant–we tipped the scales an extra percentage, so we’re 1% likely to have a girl instead of 0% likely to have a girlΒ  :p

If I am pregnant and it is another boy.. well.. I will have to deal with that. I will love the little one with all my heart and I won’t wish he was a girl–but I will be excited and eager for us to do IVF/PGD in 2012. I know that knowing that will keep me sane πŸ™‚

Wow

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve updated! I’m so sorry about that! We’ve been moving and it’s taking forever to get us all settled in!

Needless to say, EGS is very temporarily on hold–though we have had unprotected sex a few times… (3, 5 and 6 days before my calculated ovulation and 18 hours after. This, of course, is assuming I ovulated at all–something I’m not convinced of.) but so far, all hpt’s have come out negative. I even took a FRER today and that was negative. I will test again with my test strips pretty much for the next 5 days and use one more FRER (maybe…) on the 6th day, then I shall give up hope.

We didn’t do EGS–but we did everything else. Diet, supplements, even timing to an extent, so if I actually was pregnant and we got another boy, I would still feel pretty confident that we’d done our best (minus EGS, of course) with just out and out swaying. I’m not sure that we’ll be doing EGS July, either. And to be quite frank, the diet is getting so old. Ok–I won’t lie. It’s not getting old, it is old. I don’t think that I can keep it up anymore. It’s not that I am hungry all the time–I’m actually kinda full–it’s just the blandness is killing me! We’re also both getting really sick of taking so many pills. Ugh!

It’s so weird.. I feel so pregnant, yaknow? I’m peeing constantly, even though I’ve actually been drinking less than normal (yes, I actually know pretty much exactly how much I drink every day!). I had a little experiment last night. I went to bed thirsty (I generally take a bottle of water to bed with me and sip it throughout the night) and I didn’t have anything to drink two hours before I went to sleep. And I still got up four times to pee during the night! That’s one less than the five times a night it’s been for the past 6 days… but so not worth being thirsty throughout the night!) Honestly? I wake up to pee twice a night max. Once a night is normal. This 4+ times per night thing sucks and it only ever happens when I’m pregnant.

But I’m obviously not 😦 I don’t have any other symptoms. No tender breasts, no sore hips, no nausea, no crazy fatigue (just the normal kind when you have a ton of kids :p). Usually when I’m pregnant, my hips are killing me. Literally killing me before I’m late for my period, my breasts get larger (though to be honest, I’m still nursing, so chances are I won’t notice that, anyway) I guess I could be considered overly tired… I slept like the dead last night (aside from the constant urination), the kids didn’t wake up at all (a first!) and I slept so deeply, it was awesome. Yet I woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept in a week. And all day, at any point, if I didn’t have to watch kiddos all day, I’d have drifted off (Oh, I wish they weren’t past the nap stage…) . Like right now, one kid is still awake and I’m just dragging, even though I haven’t even been up for 12 hours! Literally!

So yeah.. I don’t know what’s going on with my body. Unless it’s just me mentally convincing my body that I’m pregnant (all that positive thinking I’ve been doing!) Whatever it is, it is so frustrating. Ugh.Β  At this point in time, I just want af to show up so we can start trying. This being in limbo crap sucks!

I will try to keep this updated, now. I’m so sorry! Now that we’re (mostly) moved and settled, I should be able to keep this up again πŸ™‚

ETA: On the 4th of July, I was actually woken up at about 3AM with the most awful cramps. You wouldn’t believe it. It was.. it was just crazy painful. This is what I wrote in my “personal” journal:

My stomach is killing me. Like omg this morning around 3AM I actually woke up because I felt like I was having contractions O_O;; Honestly.. wtf? You’d think I’d be starting my period after that.. but no. Nothing. I have no freaking clue what THAT was. And I’m sore from it, today. Like my stomach is still kinda crampy, though honestly I don’t know WHY. AF isn’t due for some time, seeing as she just ended on the 22nd [after SIX long day. SIX. wtf, body???] I’d say Ovulation pains.. but I’ve never had them before and I don’t imagine they feel like freaking contractions. Plus, my cervix is in the entirely wrong position for ovulation. Mucous is all wrong, too. So yeah. No f***ing clue what’s going on with my uterus these days. I haven’t ovulated in.. well.. ages. Yeah. Anyone have ovulation pain? Does it kinda feel like you’re having contractions? Or has anyone had this sort of pain and know wtf it is? Flabbergasted, here, honestly.

ETA: And no, I don’t think it’s PMSy type cramps. I’ve had those before. These pains do NOT feel ANYthing like that y.y Plus.. yaknow.. like I said before.. I *just* got off a ridiculously LONG period and if I’m starting again ALREADY I demand a refund on my uterus. Srsly.

How weird is that? My friends suggested implantation–one actually said that I’d described how one of her kids felt with implantation. And it was the appropriate time span… so of course, that got me feeling pregnant, even more! But I don’t know. All those negative tests… just.. yeah.

So.

It’s June! So man exciting things happening!

Construction of the incubator will begin tomorrow! All components are sitting here on my desk πŸ™‚ Well–aside from Duct Tape. I can’t believe I forgot Duct Tape!!! 😐 My husband should have fun putting that together πŸ˜‰ (actually, he probably will!)

I caved and purchased a little girl outfit to put under our mattress 😑 It could help, right? And hey, worst-case scenario, I’ve still got the receipt for it (or I can donate it–it’s so cute–a sweet little pink thing with Pandas! I love Pandas ♥) “They” also say you should add a wooden spoon–but as our bed has those slats instead of a box-spring, putting the outfit under it will be hard enough! I don’t even think it would be possible to put a spoon–wooden or otherwise!–down below!

I am SO bummed–my camera seems to be not working 😦 I think I shall cry! I wanted to take some pics of the whole thing before it’s set up and, of course, after 😦 Meh. I guess I could take some pics with my phone and hope that I can figure out what’s wrong with it in the interim. I honestly hope that I do. I can’t imagine how much it would suck not having a real camera for this whole deal… my cell phone doesn’t take great pics 😦

Ah, well. Here’s to hoping that that is the only thing that goes wrong!

My goals for June: TO BECOME PREGNANT! hahaha. Well.. of course.. it’s really to become pregnant with a healthy baby/babies that is/are born healthy and whole after 40 weeks gestation. With a side order of “PLEASE lets have a girl!!”. Yaknow–nothing huge x)

I’m really hoping that this wish of mine comes true. Honestly, whether it’s a girl or a boy, twins, singleton, whatever–I really do just.. want to get pregnant at this point. I’m really not one for waiting 😑 We’ll see! Wish us luck! First Pics (hopefully!!!) tomorrow!!!

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