Ok.

So we’re going to do EGS. We’re only doing it for 2 months and if we don’t get pregnant, then we’re definitely sticking with IVF/PGD mid January.

If I do get pregnant, we will hope it’s a girl. (Which it won’t be, of course, but I’m going through the plan, so bear with me :p) IF it’s a girl, then we cancel our IVF/PGD plans.

If it’s another boy (which it will be, of course), then we schedule IVF/PGD for early 2012 (as soon as my cycles are regular again).

I can live with that. And I can be happy with that.

Guess it’s a good thing that I stayed on the diet, huh? hehehe. Since af is gone, we’re taking supplements again now. My pH seems the exact same (hovers between 4.5 and 4.9) as does my husbands (7-8).

So I don’t lose, either way 🙂 I mean, short of being pregnant twice rather than just once if EGS doesn’t work (which it won’t–let’s be realistic…) unless, of course, I don’t get pregnant from the EGS attempts and we just go straight to IVF/PGD in January.

Ok. Phew. Got that all out.

Now–I’ll be updating this more often and I’ve got a tiny little camera so I can take slightly better pics 🙂 We’re going to be doing SU/TBM daily between today and the 4th of July. Fun times! I’m actually contemplating doing it every other day though… hmm..

Anyway, yeah–I’ll be taking some pics of tonight’s “experiment” and will post them either tonight or tomorrow. 🙂

Quick update…

As you are all aware–we’d decided on saving up for High Tech (IVF and PGD) to ensure that our next pregnancy would, in fact, be the girl we both are desperate for, since I am not 100% comfortable with EGS and even Microsort doesn’t have high enough odds for me.

Some things are changed–some are the same.

We’re still planning on IVF/PGD. But it’s been brought to my attention that trying again after an EGS attempt would be something to consider. The only thing is me. My husband would love to have 100 kids. I wouldn’t mind that, either–aside from the fact that I’m really not a fan of pregnancy (childbirth is different–that’s “easy”–pregnancy kicks my ass, though) He said that he’s really not as comfortable with IVF/PGD (the “extra” embryos) and that he would like to try with EGS first and, if it ends up giving us another boy, then without question, we would 100%, no questions asked do IVF/PGD as soon as we were able to after our 6th son was born.

I can’t see where I would really lose in that situation… aside from having to be pregnant one more time than I’d wanted to. I’d get another son, which would not be bad at all if I could be guaranteed a girl after him. (And hey–I’m the one who wanted twins–a boy and a girl ideally–so I’d get that.. sort of ;))

I realize I’m probably being sort of anti-feminist, my body, my choice, etc. etc. But his concern about the “extra” embryos is a very valid one to me. Mainly because it also is a concern for me–just to a lesser degree than it is to him. I would rather not have to go through all that (not even considering the monetary aspect–just all the shots and drugs etc. etc.)

So I’m going to think about it.

I’ll give it a week or two. I’m still on the diet (why, I do not know) and everything (just not taking supplements since I’m still having af visit urgh!), so we’d be able to “try” as soon as I ovulate again. I guess I just–at this stage–have to decide if having one more pregnancy or two for the comfort of our collective conscience verses the physical discomfort. I would like to figure it out before af stops… just to maximize everything and because I’d have to start taking the supplements as soon as she leaves.  I’m guessing I have 48 hours before she’s 100% gone… let’s hope I have come to a decision by them.

Thoughts?

An early morning sort.

So my darling husband provided me with a sample this morning and, of course–despite my general “blah” feelings toward TTC right now because I can’t seem to ovulate–I put the sample in the test tube, made sure my EW wasn’t too cold (room temperature in my house is 68 degrees, so yeah…) added the EW on top of the sample (and here’s where it gets weird–it stayed on top the whole time–I could see it–but when I was staring at it, either my vision is all blurry because I’m so tired or everything turned the same color. Honestly. I blame being tired, though. I feel like I haven’t slept for a week 🙂 Good times!

So we’ve got 45 minutes left to see if the sort was successful. I’m starting to think I’m going to need to pasteurize some more eggs the rate my husband going 😀 hahaha It’s cool, though 🙂 At least this part is fun. No one else to fault for my body betraying me 😦 (yeah, I know–I’m probably being melodramatic and I’ll probably Ovulate soon.. I hope.. but ARGH the timing will be all off 😦 So sad.. so I’m going to vent about it)

…or not.

So I’ve apparently been fooling myself. The line isn’t getting darker, at all! In fact, I’m almost positive that it’s getting lighter!!! Seriously–it was so faint every time I tested today. Much fainter than yesterday. And I know I didn’t miss it–I’ve seriously been testing every time I use the bathroom at this point. This is so disheartening!

Honestly, I will be so sad if our O+12 attempt isn’t the 12th. Everything was “lined up” for a girl conception! That, and if I ovulate “late”, my fasting will have all been for nothing! Ugh.

But I’ve got to stay positive. I can’t stress out. Stress sways boy, after all 😉

We did another trial run of SU tonight! With a condom this time instead of the cup! Still wasn’t perfect, but it was a LOT easier with the condom than with the cup! I’d have pics to share, but you know, my camera being dead and all.. well.. the cell isn’t good enough to really show anything 😦 I miss my camera 😦 I wish I could figure out what’s wrong with it… sigh.

But I digress! The point was that it seemed like a successful test! Huzzah!

In other news, my husband’s pH is around 8 and mine hovers between 4.5 and 5 😦

Maybe I just wasn’t meant to have a girl!

The line is getting darker!

So I’ve been testing for ovulation pretty much constantly since the 6th. Well, no, that’s not entirely true… One the 6th I only did one and on the 7th I did two. The 8th I did three 😡 The positive line is still way too light, so it’s still negative–but it’s there! The first 2 days, I had nothing but the control line. So yay! So stoked 🙂 Basically from now until I get a strong positive, I’m just going to be testing every time I have to go to the bathroom (Ok, well maybe every other time–this liquid diet has me in the bathroom pretty much constantly! It’s almost like being pregnant already x))

The first experiment was a total flop, by the way–I had my husband give me the sample in a cup. Which was great. BUT getting it OUT of the cup was pretty much impossible. And while he gave a very large sample, most of it stuck to the cup. So I ended up with less than half of what he gave me with no way of getting the rest out 😦  Regardless, I was prepared to have a go with the little I’d retrieved–until I dropped the tube and that spilled out everywhere. Honestly–I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be able to pull this off, at all. How on earth does one transfer the sample to the test tube without losing half (or more!) of it? I know some people use a condom–but I can’t see how that would be much better, at all 😦 I don’t know… I guess I’ll give it a shot… but really, at this stage I’m just feeling kinda “bleh” and completely worried that I won’t be able to do it, at all. I’d have him just deposit the sample straight in the tube–but it’s far too narrow (and also far too tall–I actually have to cut it so that I’ll be able to get the syringe down there to suck off the egg whites…) Sigh.

Oh, well–there’s always tomorrow! I will have to pick up some condoms at the store (also need garbage bags hahaha) and we can try it that way tomorrow 🙂

And we have photos!

Albeit, crappy cell phone photos–but photos, regardless!

This cute little outfit's going under our mattress!

This cute little outfit's going under our mattress!

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As I mentioned yesterday, I’d gotten a little pink panda outfit to go under our mattress.. well, this is it! It’s so adorable.. I really do adore Pandas!

I probably should have gone with something all frills and lace–but… well… I just couldn’t help myself, really…

This would be Chaos’ very first outfit 🙂

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Let's see if we can pull this off...

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Next, of course, we have to pasteurize the eggs. This was actually kinda freaking me out! I couldn’t figure how I’d get this done without actually cooking the eggs!

I sat basically on top of the stove (ok, not literally, obviously!) watching the thermometer. Despite hearing advice to take the pot off the burner when the 5 minutes were up, I opted to leave it on. First try pasteurizing… transferred them to a smaller pot to cool and…

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Pasteurized Eggs!

Voila! Pasteurized Eggs!

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Eureka! It worked!  Totally stoked about this 🙂 Especially considering I was totally freaking out about it!!!

Now just a couple more–these are pics of the incubator that my darling, patient husband put together 🙂

I think he did a smashing job 🙂 Granted, I was the one who went nuts with pink paint, but still! The only thing that’s missing–and that’s only because it hasn’t yet arrived–is the thermometer that goes inside! The dimmer capabilities will help us maintain temp easier 🙂 Now to figure out how to/if we should try to get it to “seal” better when closed.. hmm

ANYway.. that’s all for pics for today! Sorry about the poor quality 😦 I hope to have my camera up and running before we get down to the nitty gritty 🙂

It’s almost June!!!

So of course, I’m completely nervous! x)

I’ve got all the “What if…” ‘s floating around in my head~

  • What if it doesn’t work?
  • What if it takes forever to get pregnant?
  • What if it does work?
  • What if we (Ok, most likely I)  screw up the experiment?
  • What if we can’t even get the practice runs right?
  • What if.. what if.. ugh!!!

Needless to say, aside from being ridiculously excited, I’m astronomically petrified! I know the chances of us getting a BFP the first month TTC (not to mention the first month EGS!) are probably pretty low–but still. June just.. feels like the month! I can’t shake the feeling.. it’s deep in my bones. Granted, a similar feeling also assured me that our youngest was a girl, and you see where that got us ;p And let’s face it–getting pregnant–while it’s never been a hardship for me–it’s never been a quick or easy thing, either. 😦 But I’m going to think POSITIVELY–and I’m going to think pink–and say that June 2010 is our month!

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