It was a sweet time~

But it was (apparently) time to say goodbye to In-Gender. It helped.. but it’s going to become pretty much a “pay” site. The Private Message function has been made unusable since I don’t have a Gold Membership, already and (at least) one of the Forum Leaders has indicated that several other forums that are currently accessible to all will become accessible to Gold members, only.

For some, this isn’t a big deal! For me, even–$12 per year isn’t a big deal–however simply on principle, I won’t. Information should be free–and any other information that’s not free, I will get from my Dr… and all that is (that they’ll be hiding), I can get thanks to good old Google πŸ˜‰ There’s also the fact that I’ve been quite unhappy about the state of the site. It’s been virtually impossible to use, the errors upon errors! The load times! They say it’s being fixed.. but it doesn’t actually appear to be. (ETA: I get that sites have expenses, but some sites make more than enough to support themselves/cover their overhead and then some. In my opinion, this is one of those sites. I would be far more inclined to make a donation toΒ  a site, but having to pay money for a site that doesn’t perform well?)

Ah, well. That’s Ok–I will miss the friends I’ve made there, truly!Β  It’s just time for me, personally, to move on.

I thank the forum leaders for all the work and time and effort they have put into the site. The forum leaders and the members–Gold and non Gold. The wealth of information you all have shared, the opinions, etc. etc.–it’s been awesome. Thanks πŸ™‚

Moving on!

I am SERIOUSLY feeling like this will be my last pregnancy.. and I’m not feeling all that sad about it. Yet. I just don’t know.. I have never liked pregnancy.. and this one is just painful! Part of me wants to have more (the part that wants 8 kids hahah) but part of me is saying–and has been saying, since week 10 of this pregnancy–that I am SO.DONE. I think the plan is for me to get an IUD for the next 4ish years. That way, we have plenty of time before we do anything permanent (The Big V for my husband and perhaps Essure for me–not “sold” on it, yet) BUT we’ll see! Plenty of time… heel, Chaos isn’t even born yet!

I’m also sort of making a “To Buy” list. It’s in the form of a registry–but since we’ve never even had a baby shower (heck, I can’t say we’ve even ever received a baby gift! haha), it’s definitely all “Things We Are Going To Purchase” rather than “Things We Want Other People To Purchase” πŸ˜€Β  It’s taking a little while to find the “right” things.. but it’s REALLY fun! I’m enjoying it πŸ™‚

Anyway–that’s it, for now! I hope you’re all well ♥

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SOOOOO sorry!!!!

So it’s been a LONG time. I’m so, SO sorry for that. It’s been crazy around here. I love it–wouldn’t change it for anything–but it’s been impossible to sit down and update!

So much has happened!

I’ve fluctuated frequently between “Oh, I am going to be sad if I have a girl” to “Oh, I am going to be sad if I have a boy” and so on and so forth… it’s been a roller-coaster, for sure. I don’t know if I could ever do this again, despite plans to wait 5 years before we do anything permanent.

I’m going to give a sort of bullet point style update, chronologically πŸ™‚ Hopefully it will get you all caught up with everything on this end and I will try so hard to keep this updated from now on!

9.14.10

Had my NT scan yesterday and the tech said he was 85-90% sure that the lil’ one is a girl. I saw a lot of screen time of the nub and I agree with this, though I’d have said a straight 100% because the nub was so typical and obvious.

UNFORTUNATELY, because my darling child was being.. well.. uncooperative (but wow, it was SO awesome to see the acrobatics! I just kinda lay there with a look of awe on my face), we weren’t able to get any nub pictures. We did get a between the legs shot but we all know 12w2d (kiddo measuring 12w4d which ironically were my original dates… hah) between the leg shots are not accurate for the determination of sex. Further to my misfortune, my scanner is broken AND I can’t find the card reader for my camera, so I can’t actually post the picture. Sigh.

Another thing–I of course was talking to the tech throughout the whole thing. Making a nuisance of myself, probably haha but he was great, friendly! In the beginning, I was referring to the little one as “he” and so he did, too. However, after he made his initial assessment, he started to say “she”. I, however, continued to say “he”. He said to me “Trust me, that’s a little girl in there” and even “What, you don’t believe me? I’m sure that’s a girl”

THAT was a shocker! This whole pregnancy, every sign, old wives tale, symptom–it’s all been classic boy. When I heard him say that–and I saw the nub for myself, just.. wow! I was floored. It was so hard to believe. So hard, in fact, that after 2 days, I didn’t believe it at all!

I spent the time between now and my next excerpt, I’d decided seriously and solidly that I wanted a boy. I thought about having a girl and.. it scared the crap out of me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a date for this one.. but.. it was some point :p

So.. Ok, yeah–I have decided that I actually WANT to stay an all-boy mom! Who’d have thought?! So.. now I’m actually really hoping that my BOY feelings are accurate! I remembered when my GD started.. and it was when I was CONVINCED that my 5th was a girl. And because I was SO convinced of that, I wanted a girl. Before that–I didn’t care. I didn’t want boys or girls–I just wanted babies! When he turned out another boy, I can honestly say I was crushed. And from that point, I wanted a girl, no matter what.

But yeah–I won’t ramble–I’m almost back in the healthy place I was, before. I think having a girl is too much for me–so I DO only want boys at this point.Before, I just wanted babies πŸ˜›Β  So I’m not completely “recovered” yet. And God help me if this does end up being a girl.. I think I’d have to put my GD shoes back on.. and that would be depressing 😦 (I think I’m safe, though–I’m pretty sure I’ll hear boy again!) But yeah.. fx we hear it’s a boy on the anatomy scan!!!

And…

9.29.10

So we (Ok, I) was freaking out all night.. we could not find the heartbeat on the doppler and we tried all night. It was awful. After our previous losses, well, we decided that we would get checked out. We got there and had to wait an agonizing 30 minutes until it was our turn. Long story short, everything is fine–there’s a beautiful heartbeat, baby was active and looked fantastic.. and is 100% a girl. We are.. completely floored. Happy.. excited (I, personally, am scared to death along with those feelings). My 2nd is going to be so happy.. he’s my little GD sufferer (poor guy) but yeah.. everything is great, she (I can’t believe I am saying she) is looking wonderful. I guess she was just hiding out last night (seriously we tried ALL night to find it and just couldn’t.. I was crushed)

So yeah.. I’m having a girl. It’s going to take a bit to get used to… but I will.. and I already love her (geesh, after feeling like we’d lost her for the past 24 hours, it’s impossible NOT to hah) just.. need to get used to it.

So… wow. We are having a girl. I am in shock. Petrified. And shocked.

Of COURSE I am over the moon type happy! Just knowing that she is healthy and whole–and still there! She could be quadruplet girls and I would be over the moon. Not being able to find the heartbeat was so positively scary… I am so thankful that she is Ok.

Just.. have to figure out this whole “girl” thing. hehe. I have some time, though! We are so thankful. I can’t wait to meet her! (Ok, I can wait. Until late March/early April πŸ™‚ )

I feel…

Tired.. but not. Like… I feel like I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat–but when I lie down, it takes FOREVER for me to fall asleep 😦 AND when I do fall asleep, I wake up about once an hour!

Heartburn. SO.BAD. Oh, man–I had a glass of milk and a brownie last night and I thought I was going to die. It was horrid.

My nose is getting wider. This is why I’m 99.9999% positive I’m having a boy. The only thing that I have had in common with the rest of my pregnancies.

My cravings vary from sweet to salty but are mostly salty. Honestly, I wish I HAD sweet cravings. I don’t really, though. (I couldn’t even finish the brownie!)

I don’t really have any symptoms. I “feel” pregnant without actually feeling pregnant, if you know what I mean! It’s so weird… but I’m not complaining πŸ™‚

Well.. minus the whole “tired but not” thing… thatis getting old, fast!

We don’t have a nursery–and we co-sleep–but we are tossing the idea of actually having a crib for this little one since our 5th is still co-sleeping and I don’t think I quite trust him to leave him (or her.. hah) alone and not try to pick him/her up πŸ™‚ So… yeah. We are thinking about decorating a bit.. a little nursery “space” in our room. Panda’s! And everything G/N.

We will see, though. πŸ™‚

Sorry this post is so late!!!

I know you have all just been dying to hear more about me πŸ˜€ hahaha

Well.. here are the tests (in order) from the last 3 days

The line is definitely getting darker. My only concern is that the last test was a different brand so it’s not much darker. I mean, it’s still darker and you can still easily tell that there’s been progression (and, as such, my hcg +s are likely steadily increasing–especially since I’ve had zero spotting since the first time!)

So.. I am–at this point–confident in saying…

WE’RE PREGNANT!!!!

Another awesome thing? The cramping? I’ve determined that it’s not cramping, at all. It’s just the left side of my uterus is sore. And today? It’s hardly sore at all! I’m really starting to feel confident about this baby, now! I think he’s going to stick!!!

My husband is convinced that this is finally our girl after 5 boys.. but I don’t think so. And honestly, after being so afraid that I lost him/her? I will be happy with a healthy, whole baby of either sex!

So yes–I have more to update later.. just SO tired and busy! EDD March 24th–but I think (s)he will be born closer to Daddy’s Birthday (4/10! It would work, you know? Because we found out about him/her on my birthday–it’d be awesome if (s)he was born on his!


PS…

Here are the BFPs from today…

Well…

I haven’t had any more blood… yet. Still a lot of cramping.. but no more pink. Discharge is fluctuating between egg-white and creamy… cervix, however, is medium-low and soft. Ish.

I did take another test… I couldn’t help myself. The positive is still there. Still faint but–dare I say–stronger than it was. It gives me a small bit of hope. Not much… but something.Β  At this stage, I just don’t want to get my hopes up 😦

I guess we’ll see. I don’t know if I should go ahead with making an appointment with my new midwife or if I should just wait a month and see what happens.

I guess the good news is that if I am still pregnant, I was swaying fully at the time (minus EGS and Timing) so maybe it’s a girl :p Honestly, though, if I am? At this point, if I am pregnant, I’ll just be happy that the baby is Ok. I won’t even care. This whole thing has put so much into perspective. I went shopping for a new potty for our 2y/o today and stopped by the kids section and the girl stuff was cute, but it didn’t make me ache like it usually does.

Guess that’s progress πŸ™‚

Dead beat.

I’m so drained. You’d think it wouldn’t hit me so hard… only having found out a short time ago. But it’s just… painful.

My husband thinks it was just a bit of spotting due to the celebratory sex we had. It was very light pink, watery and it didn’t last (and it wasn’t a constant “flow”–or a flow, at all, it was just like it was sitting there, waiting for me to wipe)

Because of the lateness of the BFPs and because of the near-constant (though not severe) cramps, I am not feeling as confident. Yes, I did get two BFPs.. and that’s something! But all of these factors combined do not inspire confidence 😦

He is hopeful. I wish I could be, too…

I don’t know. Just felt like posting. I need SOME sort of outlet that doesn’tΒ  involve tears.

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